Slow down

Have you ever felt like the world is zipping past you? That all you do is go from one activity to the next, wondering if you even enjoyed it or felt it was worthwhile? The past couple of weeks have been a blur of activities for us. So much so that we had to work through a few of meltdowns.

When life becomes an emergency, something is definitely wrong.

When you question why you should get out of bed to start the race, something is definitely wrong.

When you have to hold a sobbing 9 year old for half an hour, something is definitely wrong.

When your high school junior begs you to understand that school is stressful, something is definitely wrong.

How do you slow time down and enjoy the morning, the afternoon, the day, the week, the season...

How do you see that you don't have to live like that... that there is a problem and you have control over it.

Elise loves music. She loves to sing and is enjoying learning the violin. In addition to church stuff, she has violin lessons at school, will soon play in the school orchestra, started a new children's choir in the Lincoln community and just found out that she got into All-State choir. Then she got overwhelmed.  So, we decided to quit the brand new choir that she started a few weeks ago (and that I just paid quite a bit of money for her to do). She had been to three rehearsals and after each one, she just didn't seem quite happy about how it went. I assumed she was getting used to new kids and a new teacher and that she would eventually come around. When I asked her during her "sobbing session" if she wanted to be in the choir, she said "not really" and listed off a bunch of reasons. But, what struck me was what she ended with, "and my teacher doesn't even know me!" Isn't that what we all want? To be known? To be recognized? To be memorable? To feel like you are worth the effort?

Eliot's been struggling with his grades... again. Specifically with pre-calculus. "Mom, I'm good at math and I can't figure this out. I'm actually trying and I can't do it." He doesn't want to talk to his teacher, he doesn't want to ask his sister for help, he doesn't want a tutor... he just wants to be able to do the problems without having to work for it. Boy, does that sound familiar. How many times do I just want the grocery shopping to be done, or the laundry to be clean, or the bills to be paid with just a wave of a wand?  I finally emailed his teacher and asked what we could do. He agreed to meet with Eliot after school to go over his last test. Up to this point we've had many, many teachers who let Eliot retake tests and hand papers in late... not this one. The only way for him to do better in this class is to ace the next test.

So, we've cut out a rehearsal and added homework to the routine. We've also cut out after school friend time for Elise and put away Eliot's iPod for awhile. I'm not sure we've got it mastered, but this weekend has felt a little better so far. Last night, we let both kids just be kids. Eliot didn't have to work (which by the way, he loves and fought to keep in the battle of what needed to go), so he had a couple of guys over to play xbox, went to a high school football game and came home about noon today. I let Elise invite Lilly to come to the football game and then the girls left early to watch Lilly's sister get ready for the homecoming dance.

Today, Elise and I spent the day together. We went shopping (of course now we need black pants and flats for All-State). We found a cute little table for the back deck. We got a few groceries. We bought gel pens and paper. Then we came home and she created and she has plans to create more tomorrow. The basement where we keep her "art studio" is a disaster. But she's happy, and she has ideas, and she's creating.

Eliot spent most of the afternoon laying on the couch watching football and cleaned out his backpack. He's babysitting some of his favorite kiddos tonight and loves that. Hopefully, he's over the hurdle of asking for help and can keep the positive momentum going.

When days start feeling like life is an emergency I really want to be able to stop it. I want to slow down, unwind and love my kids. Our society, our schools, other people take so much out of them. How can I fill them up? Well, I probably can't... but I can pray that God will fill them up, give them what they need for the day, give them a sound mind and a joyful spirit... to know that they are good enough, to know they are loved, to know they are believed in... and most of all that they are known.