Wow. I can hardly believe that 20 years ago I became a mom. 20 years ago I wasn't worried about parenthood. I had this mom thing all figured out. I knew how to take care of kids- I had been nannying for years. I knew how to cook and do laundry and pay bills. But unfortunately, I didn't know a thing about taking care of babies and you didn't really want to help me out with that. You wouldn't latch on... you literally screamed for hours... you exhibited exorcistic-like gas... Luckily, we had your dad. He didn't seem phased by any of it. He changed diapers, bathed you, mixed formula, walked and rocked you until you finally slept on him and praised your burping like you had just won some sort of Emmy award-winning competition.
20 years ago, I became a person who dropped whatever she was doing and ran to you every time you made a peep. I worried that everything I did was wrong. I worried that we weren't doing everything exactly by "the book". Luckily, your dad just said, "She's fine! She's eating and sleeping and pooping- what else is there?" all the while smiling at you and babbling to you and loving you.
20 years ago I couldn't think about 20 years from now. I was just surviving... but you... you started growing into this person that you are today. The one that travels the world and experiences life outside of cornfields. The one that doesn't judge, but just listens. The encourager. The one with so many options.
Adrienne, I still don't have it all figured out. I still worry that I'm doing everything wrong and many days I still feel like I'm surviving.
But when I see this...
You laughing...
Your brother laughing...
Your sister being dramatic...
I know I don't have to worry...
Because really, what else is there?
Happy Birthday to my beautiful, firstborn!
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