Eucharisteo

I discovered Ann Voskamps book, "One Thousand Gifts," and am taking her dare to find “eucharisteo” …. to learn to be thankful… to find God in all the daily moments, in the good and in the bad.

At first I found it easy to count my thankful moments. But it wasn’t long before “life” struck and my obsession faded. Bitterness was growing… weakness… I knew where I was headed but truthfully, I was dreading slipping into a pit again. I pleaded with God for days to lift me, to let me see light and beauty, to feel something more than empty. I wanted to wake up in the morning and be grateful for a new day, to get out of bed and see my kids off to school, to want to go to work and clean the house and go to the grocery store. To pull myself out I delved into Bible Study, I scoured my iTunes for worship songs, I tried to walk it off, shop it off and eat it off.

Finally, I texted a friend to pray for me. “…eucharisteo…” As I was taking out the trash on that dreary day, I squinted as a sunbeam lit in front of me. “…eucharisteo…” I decided to take another walk and as I strode down the sidewalk I took in a breath of crisp winter air, “…eucharisteo…” As my feet pounded the pavement I could hear the birds talking in the trees. “…eucharisteo…” I looked up to the sky and through the grey clouds, sunrays were clearing the way for one blue streak of sky. “…eucharisteo…”

I could feel my gracious father warming the back of my neck… never leaving... always present… his stability… his encouragement… eucharisteo…

For a few days I could feel myself climbing out of the pit. I’ve been able to wake up in the morning and get out of bed, going to work doesn't feel like just a chore and the laundry and dishes are in a perfect cycle of clean, dirty, clean, dirty… but then tonight happened. I threw what can only be described as a complete and utter hissy fit at Eliot, and probably scarred Elise for life. Why is it so easy to lose sight of eucharisteo? How do I so easily forget all the good that I’ve learned? The only consolation is that the ones I lash out at understand that feeling all too well and seem to be able to forgive me.

So tonight eucharisteo is…

-a clean slate

-more ammunition for my kids

-hugs and forgiveness